Thursday, April 30, 2009

Indian Bureaucracy and Swine Flu

Departing from the Delhi aiport, we went through the usual rigamarole of security - put your electronics and jacket in a bucket and your bag through the x-ray machine. But, at the end of the x-ray, the guard told me I didn't have a hand luggage tag. I showed him my name tag. Nope. Not right. Puzzled, I looked over Alex who was steps ahead of me and he led me to the information booth to pick up a flimsy paper nametag which also had a spot to write the flight number on. The information booth guy was on the phone, head down. Finally he looked up and we asked for the tag (why can't they just put the tags on the counter?), which he pulled out of a drawer and gave to me. I filled it out and hung it on my bag strap. What I didn't realize is that it also had to be hand stamped in purple by someone in security's x-ray area. I got to discover that omission when I was prevented by a security officer from boarding the plane due to lack of a purple stamp on the hand bag that could only have arrived in this area via the x-ray screening area.
A Turkish Airlines hostess told me to come with her and she ran with me, grabbed my bag, returned to the x-ray area and presented my bag to the screener. Alex came with us -- you never know what could happen. The bag was run through x-ray again and then the guard began the longest, most detailed hand check ever. Every little zipper compartment, toiletry bag, cosmetic bag, my lipstick, wallet. He was having a spiteful, slow-moving bureaucratic power play blast. The airline rep, Alex and I stood there calmly like we wanted to do nothing more than watch him rifle through every single one of my belongings. (He only touched the handle, not the bristles of my toothbrush). Finally, I earned the purple stamp (sounds like a scavenge) and she ran back with us to the gate where the plane was already boarded.

I settled into my seat and picked up the newspaper. Front page story on swine flu in the Hindustan Times has a sidebar story on the 24 hour swine flu helpline set up by the Indian government on Monday. The reporter called the swine flu helpline 3 times and printed the transcripts of the calls.
1. Monday 6:30 PM
Q: What is swine flu?
A: Someone told me it is a disease in Mexico. Call tomorrow morning. There's no one here now.
2. Tuesday 2:20 PM
Q: Tell me about swine flu.
A: I want your name and number.
After giving name and number:
Q: Do I need to worry about getting infected?
A: No need to panic. We have no swine flu cases in India.
Q: Then why did the government issue an advisory yesterday?
A: To ask people to quarantine travelers with flu symptoms and call us so we can test them.
Q: Do people have to do the quaranting at home?
A: Of course, I just said that.
Q: What about hospitals?
A: There are no designated hospitals.
Q: Won't you miss cases, if you rely on voluntary reporting?
A: That can't be helped. We can't go searching for patients. They have to call us.

3. Tuesday 6:20 PM
The reporter called the 24 hour swine flu helpline and got a fax tone.